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sushibonbon
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Name: Ahsas
Birthday: 9/18/1987
Interests: Bear, Mnm, D, KT, Sunshine... Those are all people that I know to nickname. I also love doing things I'm not supposed to do, like go into someone's highschool and chameleon around.
Expertise: Sneaking around, not being noticed, making people laugh, loving peeps, and a lot more stuff. French. Woot.
Occupation: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
11/17/2003
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| Sometimes life can really suck. I feel a little bit illiterate for sounding so 'grunt-like' with my lingo, but seriously. I got this job, and it pays 8 bucks an hour. Sucky thing is I HAVE to work 5 days a week, 4 hours each day. This disables my ability to see Aaron regularly.
It was already hurting enough with school starting- but now that school's actually okay with early release and the like.. well this job goes from 1-5pm everyday. On top of that I babysit on Mondays from 6:30-9:00, and Fridays (with Aaron) 7:30-9:00.
I make around 191 or so bucks per week, which I admit is incredulously decent! I'm saving though. When college starts next year I want to be able to afford some beginning furniture and have a few months rent paid in advance so I won't worry too much.
Hopefully too I'll have a roomie- it'll either be a splitted two bedroom with Diane- or a one bedroom with Aaron. It depends on if Diane and/or Aaron actually end up going to PSU. I'm hoping that sometime Aaron will- but I support any path he chooses. (As long as it doesn't involved him moving more than 20 minutes away from me. Living with me someday... sooooon would be awesome.)
Well blah.
-Sash | | |
| Well sometimes in life we learn lessons. Very valuable lessons that can be beneficial in the future with endeavors. The life lesson I've learned this year: Learn to let go. One cannot hold onto the past as if it is a woobie, time goes on for a reason. I've learned through two people especially that moving on will benefit you in some way.
I don't want to lose my best friend, and that's the truth, but what can a person do when given the choice between personal change and staying?
It's time for me to move on from this relationship, spread my wings. I guess you can't force someone to like you who are, and I can't force myself to change so either way I would've had to let go eventually. | | |
| Can change ever be a good thing? | | |
| Ugh. I accidently ran across a photo of her.
I was surfing through my space- you know? Wondering why I don't have any friends but not caring to become the sheepy attributes of everyone else.
Well I was just clicking on random people, and then I looked at someone's photo log and there she was grinning straight at me.
It was as if it was snickering, laughing, letting me in on every single thing I have wrong with me. I stared, and I look at my own photo quickly picking out the faults of myself..
Why are people like that?
I worried tonight, I got scared. It just feels like a bad omen, seeing someone from your past that has so much emotional negativity..
What am I supposed to do? I couldn't help but stare, I had to see what she had that I don't. Sometimes your own mind can be a deadly thing, so I finally closed the window.
It was almost as if it was too late, my mind even now still is twisting around ideas, horrible concepts.
I just want Bear to be there, but sometimes I wonder if he can handle it.
-Sash | | |
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